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Redneck jokes
FDATV's Authentic You might be a Redneck
You Might be a City Girl If..
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[quote][i]Originally posted by fishfry[/i] [br]You Might be a City Girl If.. You believed that the car was REALLY out of gas. You've never tried a chaw of Red Man. You've never tipped a cow because they don't work in restaurants. You won't bait your own hook because worms are "icky". You do all of your gardening in barrels on the patio. You get to park your car in the garage because your husband doesn't own ANY old tractors. You've never gotten a jar of Bag Balm as a gift. You don't like country ham. You've never even heard of red-eye gravy. You know how to make quiche, and your husband actually likes it. You think pork butts are part of a pigs ass. You've never been to a tractor pull. Your boyfriend took you to a tractor pull and you DIDN'T like it. You think that wind mill in the cow pasture is there to keep the cows cool. Your boyfriend's truck was made in Japan. Your kids play soccer instead of baseball. You like deer because they have pretty brown eyes. You saw the vet preg-checking a cow and called 911. You like cats better than coon dogs. All of your cats live in the house. All of your cats have names. You think "long johns" come from the donut shop. Your husband's lawn mower requires an extension cord. You've never been on a hay ride. When you hear the word "steamer" you think of the Titanic. You've never eaten poke greens. You think that mountain oysters are seafood from Colorado. You have never been snipe hunting. You think milk comes from plastic jugs. You've never gone skinny-dipping in a creek. The first time you ate barbecued ribs you asked how they got the food on those little sticks. You can't find the flush lever in the outhouse! You think the only difference between red and white corn cobs is the color. You think "coon" is a just a cruel name for African Americans. You called the police when you found out your boyfriend is a coon hunter. The tires on your boyfriend's car are all the same size. You don't know the difference between a cow and a bull. You think the only difference between a cow and a bull is the horns. You think that when a bull mounts a cow, he's only doing it to get a better view! You think that cow poop smells bad. You've never planted flowers in an old tractor tire. You don't know that caviar is really just fish eggs. You think John Deere was one of the Mouseketeers. You cried when you found out where hamburgers come from. [/quote]
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T O P I C R E V I E W
fishfry
Posted - 01/18/2009 : 3:55:50 PM
You Might be a City Girl If..
You believed that the car was REALLY out of gas.
You've never tried a chaw of Red Man.
You've never tipped a cow because they don't work in restaurants.
You won't bait your own hook because worms are "icky".
You do all of your gardening in barrels on the patio.
You get to park your car in the garage because your husband doesn't own ANY old tractors.
You've never gotten a jar of Bag Balm as a gift.
You don't like country ham.
You've never even heard of red-eye gravy.
You know how to make quiche, and your husband actually likes it.
You think pork butts are part of a pigs ass.
You've never been to a tractor pull.
Your boyfriend took you to a tractor pull and you DIDN'T like it.
You think that wind mill in the cow pasture is there to keep the cows cool.
Your boyfriend's truck was made in Japan.
Your kids play soccer instead of baseball.
You like deer because they have pretty brown eyes.
You saw the vet preg-checking a cow and called 911.
You like cats better than coon dogs.
All of your cats live in the house.
All of your cats have names.
You think "long johns" come from the donut shop.
Your husband's lawn mower requires an extension cord.
You've never been on a hay ride.
When you hear the word "steamer" you think of the Titanic.
You've never eaten poke greens.
You think that mountain oysters are seafood from Colorado.
You have never been snipe hunting.
You think milk comes from plastic jugs.
You've never gone skinny-dipping in a creek.
The first time you ate barbecued ribs you asked how they got the food on those little sticks.
You can't find the flush lever in the outhouse!
You think the only difference between red and white corn cobs is the color.
You think "coon" is a just a cruel name for African Americans.
You called the police when you found out your boyfriend is a coon hunter.
The tires on your boyfriend's car are all the same size.
You don't know the difference between a cow and a bull.
You think the only difference between a cow and a bull is the horns.
You think that when a bull mounts a cow, he's only doing it to get a better view!
You think that cow poop smells bad.
You've never planted flowers in an old tractor tire.
You don't know that caviar is really just fish eggs.
You think John Deere was one of the Mouseketeers.
You cried when you found out where hamburgers come from.
1 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
muddbuggy
Posted - 01/18/2009 : 9:02:13 PM
yep...that about sums it up.
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